Worried about your teenager?
It can be difficult for parents to tell whether their teenagers are just "being teens" or whether there is something more serious going on.
Many of the symptoms listed below can often be attributed to normal teenage behaviour. However, if you're worried, it can be helpful to know the signs of a possible problem.
You may then choose to discuss your concerns with your teen, or get advice from your GP.
This page covers:
Depression in teenagers
Noticeable symptoms of depression in teenagers can include:
- continuous low mood or sadness as well as frequent tearfulness
- voicing/showing feelings of hopelessness and helplessness
- being irritable and intolerant of others
- little or no enjoyment of things that were once interesting to them
- increasing social isolation
- disturbed sleep patterns (for example, problems going to sleep and/or waking throughout the night)
Read more about depression
Teenage eating disorders
The most common eating disorders include anorexia, bulimia and binge eating. Signs of eating disorders can include:
- complaining about being fat, even though they are a normal weight or are underweight
- letting people around them think they have eaten when they haven't
- being secretive about their eating habits
- becoming anxious, upset or guilty when asked to eat
- vomiting, or using laxatives in order to lose weight
Read more about eating disorders.
Get advice if you have a child with an eating disorder.
Teenagers who self-harm
If you suspect that your teenager is self-harming, look out for any of the following signs:
- unexplained cuts, bruises or cigarette burns, usually on their wrists, arms, thighs and chest
- keeping themselves fully covered at all times, even in hot weather
- signs of depression, such as low mood, tearfulness, a lack of interest in everything
- signs of low self-esteem, such as blaming themselves for any problems or thinking they are not good enough
- signs they have been pulling out their hair
Read more about self-harm
See a leaflet for parents and carers of young people who are self-harming
Teenagers who take drugs
Signs that your teenager is taking drugs can include:
- losing interest in hobbies, sports or other favourite activities
- dramatic changes in behaviour
- excessive tiredness and lack of appetite
- dilated pupils, red eyes, bad skin
- stealing money from you
Find out more about drug use and getting help.
How can I help my teenager?
If you're worried about your teenager and they refuse to talk to you, you may need to open up other channels of communication.
Avoid persistent direct questioning as this can make them feel threatened.
Try these tips to encourage your teenager to open up if there is a problem:
- be honest and explain that you're worried that they're going through something difficult
- point them towards websites or helplines that can give them information on depression, drugs and self-harm so they can find out the facts themselves
- don't blame yourself for any problems they are having - this won't help the situation
- tell them you'll "be there" for them when they do want to talk
- let them choose where to go for help, which may be your GP, a family friend or school counsellor
For more helpful tips, see Talking to your teenager.
More information and support
The following organisations can provide support for both your teenager and yourself:
- Family Lives is a charity specialising in families. You can call their confidential helpline on 0808 800 2222 (9am-9pm Monday to Friday, 10am-3pm Saturday to Sunday). You can also visit their forums.
- Young Minds, the mental health charity, has a dedicated, confidential helpline. Call them on 0808 802 5544 (9.30am-4pm Monday to Friday)
- Relate offers relationship advice and counselling. You can also use Live Chat to talk to a counsellor for free.
- FRANK, the drugs charity, has comprehensive information about drugs. You can also call their helpline on 0300 123 6600 (available 24/7)
Article provided by NHS Choices
Record managed by Oxfordshire Family Information Service